JANUARY
Dodo has mixed feelings about January, on the one side it tends to be rather cold and wet with not much to look forward too.
On the other side he is usually too stupid to notice the cold (and not much gets past all that fat!), he quite likes it when it is wet and his memory is too short to look forward to most things anyway. If he cannot see it, it really doesn’t matter!
(A quite good theory on life unless you like to take walks on cliff tops or have offended a very large invisible monster!)
January was named after something called January (which had died after being pushed off a cliff by something, a different something!).
When asked about his early life, January is quite shy, but when pressed we were asked to bugger off.Later, after further harrassment with serveral large sticks and some slugs, it admitted it had started out as a couple of embarrassing silences between two lost seagulls and won its present position by puffing itself up a lot.
At least four of its days have appeared as extras on the Bill.
January does not have mixed feelings about Dodo and likes to get itself over and done with as soon as possible and has been known to hide behind December to avoid Dodo’s attentions.
It was in the month of January that the town of Hamlyn was founded, though no one has owned up to losing it in the first place! (And if you are reading this , next time try and hide it in a better place, or just bury it deeper!)
Traditionally this is the time of year when new resolutions are first bent then broken.
The patron saint of January is St Clammy, who is also the patron of unburnt witches, it is hard to burn anything in the snow, no matter how long their noses are and even if they do own a cat!
Cheese cake is the vegetable of the month, which is good if you don’t like vegetables, though not of you wanted chips!
Black is the colour of the month as there is usually more of that than any other colour, it used to be red but i closed by eyes.
Didi advises January is a good time to tidy up the house and to move all the furniture around as it keeps you warm and worries the pets!
Dead Vole has no opinion on January as it has no spare or easily removed organs!
Ogd was unable to comment on January as he was having an argument with Flappy, with a stcik and a slug!
Flappy does not like January, mainly because of the sticks and slugs!
